We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye

Well the computer is officially dead. Grrrrreattttttt. And it is going to cost $85 to get the precious pictures and schoolwork and portfolio off my hard drive. I have a suggestion for computer people. And keep in mind that I have no idea what a video card is, nor do I understand what happens when one dies. BUT I imagine a little chip thingy that slowly starts wearing down, and then one day completely gives up. So, computer people, if you are listening, I think you should make video cards have a little alert or warning that pops up on your screen that says, "Hey! You have 2 days left on your video card. You better back up your junk, or you will have to pay someone to do it! Oh and by the way, when I die, your whole computer is coming with me. Muahahaha!"

And don't even try to tell me that I should have been backing it up all along. Just don't.

All of this is to say that I am still using James' computer, and it is still a Mac, and I still don't know how to use it. I did learn how to right click the other day, and it was amazing; however, it immediately turned into a disaster when the page started scrolling to the right, and I was ready to throw the computer. And yes, I know I sound like an old person who is afraid of technology, and no, I don't care. So anyway, I want to take photos of the 2 dresses and 2.5 bibs that I have made, but I just don't want to bother yet, until James is home (to do it for me). Another tragedy associated with the death of my computer is the loss of Adobe CS. That's right, Photoshop and Illustrator, my two favorite programs are gone. Just like that. We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. So, when I do take pictures of my sewing creations, I will not be able to Photoshop them, so they won't look as good as they should.

click to enlarge if you dare...i mean if you care.

Other than the mention of dresses and bibs, there has not been much baby talk going on here. But this is the second trimester, which is apparently the easiest time in a pregnancy. So I guess I have nothing much to complain about, and therefore nothing to say. We were supposed to work on baby names this weekend, but we didn't get far. Basketball took over the weekend, but I have been assured that after next week it will all be over until next fall. My bracket is done, therefore my interest is as well. I did beat James in the end. By one point I think. It got close there for a minute, but luckily Kansas lost, which resulted in the death of his bracket. I ended with 52 points, James 51. Victory is so sweet.

I guess that's all the news for now. I will return with pictures of cute baby dresses and bibs.

It seriously sounds like a drag

I made another bib, and started a third. One of these days I'll post some pictures.

My computer is still broken, and James tells me we have to take it to a place to figure out what's wrong, what it will cost, etc... Boo. That sounds as fun as going to the AT&T store to get my voicemail fixed. By the way, I've had my phone since August, and I have still not gone to get it fixed. It seriously sounds like a drag, and I can't be bothered to do it. And my broken computer is falling into that category. I shouldn't have to deal with stuff like that. Computers and phones and technology. But James is tired of me signing him out of everything on his computer and leaving myself signed in. And more importantly, I can't play Sim City until my computer works again. Yeah, I said that.

The basketball thing is really getting on my nerves. My bracket is a mess thanks to Louisville, Georgetown, Arizona and Pittsburgh. LAME. James usually totals my points for me, but he's gone. Yet another crappy thing I have to do myself. I think I have 42 points. I'm still doing better than James, which is all that really matters (hahaha). He has 38 and is in a group where you pay to participate. He is tied for 16th place, and if I was in that group, I'd be tied for 4th. Not too shabby. The leader right now has 45 points. I feel that I have done a respectable job so far, but we will see how it goes in the end. I can't talk too much trash right now, just in case James somehow beats me in the end. All I can say is that I hope our daughter doesn't inherit my petty competitive streak...

The weather has been awesome the past few days, and I took a few moments this weekend to try on some of my old dresses. Bad idea. I just want to go buy some flamboyant mumus and live in those for the rest of this pregnancy. I look awful in everything. And all of my t-shirts and tank tops are in their last few weeks of fitting. I am going to have to buy some stuff soon. Preferably lightweight dresses, because even in the 70's I am uncomfortably hot. Now, where do I find cute lightweight dresses for poverty-stricken, rotund people who continue to expand? If you have any ideas, let me know.

I need to get a job. I think I have waited for the part time thing I had lined up for too long. I think it is time to move on and find something else. James is talking about getting a second job soon, and I can't let him do that while I sit on my growing behind all day. It's just tough to commit to something when I don't have a car, I'm not sure whether we will be moving , and I don't have proper clothes to wear in public. I keep thinking that as soon as I find some other part time work, the guy at the architecture firm will call me. But I guess that's a chance I'll have to take. I can't wait around forever, and I can't let James suffer unless I'm suffering too. I mean, I am suffering. I'm fat and my clothes don't fit. My hair is ugly. I can't stand for too long or my back will retaliate ten fold. I eat constantly, which drives me to shame and embarrassment. I wake up a thousand times per night and have dreams that disrupt my sleep. But that's not the kind of suffering I need to be doing right now. I need to do some productive suffering.

Just a little sparkle won't hurt

And I can't believe basketball made me forget to share the biggest news of the day!

Elton John is coming to see me on April 15. James was gracious enough to buy us a pair of tickets, but unfortunately, everyone else in town is excited too, and the good ones were already gone. So we are almost as far away as you can get. BUT for $25 a ticket, I don't mind. We are poor, remember?

I need some opera glasses for the occasion. Something simple, as not to outdo Mr. John, but just a little sparkle won't hurt. 

Now I'm thinking about the baby, and the fact that they can hear outside the womb by the 24th week. Well, by the time Elton comes, I will be almost 25 weeks! So, some of her very first sounds will be the sweet voice of Elton John. James will have to work double time to imprint his voice on her, so that she doesn't come out looking for Papa Elton.

I filled out a bracket

My computer is broken. The screen doesn't like to come on anymore. Boo. I took a picture of my latest sewing project, a bib for the baby, but I don' know how to make pictures leave my camera and get on his computer (a mac). So next time he's home, I will post a pic of the bib. It is cute, if I do say so myself.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. And the beginning of a million basketball games that is March Madness. Before I knew James, I did not know what March Madness was, and I was content with that. Now I know, and now, dare I say, I am somewhat involved. I filled out a bracket. He thought that it would make all the basketball game watching and basketball conversations go down a little easier if I had some stake in it. I have no monetary stake, but I do have my pride. Once you turn anything into a competition for me, it's on. Even if I never otherwise cared.

And sports has never been my thing. I can watch football, and I can get excited if my school goes undefeated all season (yay Auburn), but the only player's name I know is the quarterback. And I certainly can't talk stats or other teams. But basketball was never big in the south, or maybe it just wasn't big in my house growing up. Either way, I managed to ignore it for almost 30 years. But James and his dad are huge fans. Anytime a UK game is on (which is like twice a week!), we watch it. I zone out most of the time because basketball just doesn't appeal to my senses. Here's why:

1. I don't like the sounds of the shoes squeaking. It's very distracting.
2. There is no grass.
3. Don't care for the outfits.
4. All the fouls are annoying and disrupt the flow of the game. Plus it seems like they call fouls on everything. There is no contact in this sport, and I don't get that. I know I could never play it. Anyone who has played frisbee with me can attest to that.

So all of those completely valid reasons aside, I filled out a bracket so that I could take interest in this Madness. Everything in red is what I have lost so far. Grrrrrrr.  James is amused that I suddenly care, and that the games suddenly stress me out. But  I worked hard on that stupid bracket, and when Louisville lost yesterday, it ruined a big chunk of the Southwest part. He kindly explained that it is a "bracket buster." He seemed proud,  like a dad watching his child grow up. I was just frustrated. And I pouted some more.

So there is my bracket. I kinda want to frame it or something. Well, if Louisville hadn't lost I would have. Stupid other team. I hope they lose their next game.

I want something cute and fuzzy now

Just a couple of pictures to try to inspire me to get back into sewing and making things. Here are a bunch of my fabrics that I sat out in my room. Hopefully seeing them every time I go in there will give me a little push to get started.

I also started  knitting a pair of fuzzy booties from some yarn I have had in my stash forever. They are adorable because they are tiny. And fuzzy. But they are probably not very practical. I used to be practical. But I think I am losing that due to cuteness overload. Did I mention I want a kitten? And a puppy...James keeps reminding me there is a baby on the way, but I think it is taking forever. And I want something cute and fuzzy nowwwwwwwwww. Guess these booties will have to do in the mean time.

One more thing that is more of a mental note to self. I need to remember to stop sitting on the floor when I am home alone. Because pretty soon I will not be able to get back up. And then I may go hours without eating. And then things will get scary. Apparently James is afraid of me when I am hungry. And I really don't blame him. But the only consolation or reassurance I can offer him is this: don't let me get hungry. He finds my eating habits to be one of life's great mysteries and I think is looking forward to the day when I am back to normal.

Add a shotgun to the registry

8w2d

Soooo.....

It's a girl!

10w4d

We went to the doctor on Friday, March 11 bright and early for our anatomy scan. It is basically a 30-45 minute ultrasound to measure all the different parts of the baby and to make sure all of its organs are present. I spend way too much time on a baby forum called Baby Center, and I because I am due at the end of the month, I am behind almost everyone in my July 2011 birth club. So I have spent a lot of time reading about people's anatomy scan scares. So I was a little nervous going into the ultrasound. But things went well, save for a minor finding that is really nothing at all. 

There was a bright spot on the baby's heart. It is an EIF, or  echogenic intracardiac focus, which is a calcium deposit on the heart. It is a soft marker for Down's Syndrome, but only if found in conjunction with other markers. Alone, it means nothing, and apparently they often go away on their own before the baby is born. At our last appointment, we opted to get the quad screen blood test that looks for any chromosomal abnormalities and gives your odds of having a baby with Down's or other serious abnormalities. We wavered for a second on whether we wanted to get the blood test, but nowI am so glad we did. Our blood test and the measurements of the baby were normal, so the EIF is insignificant. The doctor even said that he hated to bring it up at all because it was nothing. But of course the first thing I did when I got home was read all the threads on Baby Center about EIFs. And I was reassured 100%.

19w5d

19w5d

Throughout the ultrasound, the tech kept saying that the baby was curled up in a tight little ball, AND the legs were crossed. Finally the tech started jiggling my belly and poking at the baby with the wand. She kept saying that she was trying to make the baby mad. The baby was fairly stubborn, but finally moved around a little. At one point she had her foot in her hand, playing with her toes. That's when we got the money shot and the big news that it's a girl! We also got a profile shot and a shot of the right foot. The tech printed out the most random photos of the baby even though she took like 80 images (most were measurements of random blobs). This was the first time James got to see the little one, which was really exciting. He just sat in front of the monitor in his own little world, occasionally whispering "Whoa!" or "Cool!" under his breath. He reminded me of a little kid who zones out, Indian style, on the floor too close to the TV. Later, he seemed surprised that I heard him because he said he thought he was being quiet. 

Since writing my last post, I have really started to feel the baby moving around in there. It never felt like flutters or popcorn like people describe it. It was more like something shifting and swimming around - 
exactly what it is. Clearly I'm not very imaginative. But even more exciting is that I have also been able to feel her from the outside on occasion, which means James can finally feel her too. Even though women have to suffer far worse during pregnancy, I do feel kinda bad for the dad. Like he's left out of things. So on Saturday I felt her from the outside and managed to get James to feel her too. So he got to see her and feel her all in one weekend. 

19w5d

Before we found out the sex, I think both of us preferred a boy. I think James might have been a little intimidated by a little girl, and a little worried about all the other boys in the world. When we found out the sex, I offered to add a shotgun to the registry. But now, he is already proud of his little girl, and I think he is thrilled to have a daughter. I am too, especially since I have been browsing Carter's sale clothing and have created a wish list of all the tiny little clothes I want. Since it is all on sale, I am not adding it to the registry because chances are that it will be sold out by the time people start buying things. But for a future day of weakness (and I feel it coming soon), I will have some cute things to choose from.

In other news, James had a phone interview with Turner Construction on Wednesday. The interview process with that firm is 2 phone interviews, then an in-person interview with the specific office (they have tons of locations). After his first interview, they said that if they choose to proceed, James should hear back in a week or two to schedule the second phone interview. But they called back the next day, and scheduled one for that afternoon! I choose to believe that means that he really impressed them. So now he should hear back in a week or so again. The only drawback to this job is that we will probably have to move. But the upside is that 3 of our co-graduates have jobs with this firm (same position), and they are really successful. 

So we had a big week, and it went about as well as it could. It's about time for things to fall into place. Hopefully our patience is paying off.  

  

Baby will be grounded upon birth.

I've been continuing to work on the registry, and I am pretty satisfied with it so far. I found a website that allows you to register for items from any store, and it puts them all in one place. That way, I can shop around and find the best price for each item, and not have to register at a million different stores. AND it allows people to check things off as bought, even if they decide to buy the item somewhere else. I have been reading the tips to registering, and came across several people who said that nobody bought from their registry. Everyone wants to pick out cute outfits and blankets, so they get what they like. And really, who wants to buy a waterproof mattress cover and diaper rash cream for the arrival of someone's baby? I know I wouldn't.

I have a confession to make. I was one of those people who bought what I liked for the baby, and what I thought they should wear, and what I thought they needed. Lucky for everyone that I have only bought like 2 baby gifts.

Here's the thing. We are trying to get on our feet, find careers and find a home. Of course we (I) want our baby to have the latest in baby fashion. Our baby is going to make other babies jealous with all of its cute outfits. I'm sure of it. BUT our baby might be jealous of the other babies who don't have diaper rash because our baby's mommy and daddy are too poor to buy the cream. Our baby will be like those people who drive an Escalade, but live in a house that is falling apart. I guess I can come to terms with that.

In working on the registry, I have been diligent about finding gender neutral things for the baby, and for us, the parents. Although there was a diaper bag with cherry blossoms on it that I wanted SOOO badly. Poor James even said it was ok, if it meant that much to me. But I couldn't do it to him. He has been a sport through this whole process, and I can't force the man to carry around a diaper bag with cherry blossoms. Although it might bring out his eyes...

We decided to use cloth diapers for the money savings, the health of the baby, and to save the environment. They have a large initial cost (the ones we picked out are $18 each, and you need at least 12, preferably 18), but they can last throughout the baby's diaper lifetime (about 2 years, I think), AND they can be used on the next baby. So I made sure to pick the most gender neutral colors I could. I even forced myself to pick them out before I knew the sex to be sure my fashion emotions didn't cloud my judgement. And I am really excited about these diapers.

They are Bumgenius 4.0, and they have a grid of snaps that allows you to adjust the size, so that your child can wear them throughout its diaper year(s). I picked out Grasshopper, Ribbit, Moonbeam, Clementine, and Noodle. Apparently cloth diapering reduces diaper rash (maybe we won't need that cream after all), and costs around $2k less than disposables over a couple of years. Yay.

I am 19 weeks and 2 days along. 20 weeks is the halfway mark. I still haven't felt the baby move yet. I have had my suspicions, but it is so fast that I always second guess it. It's like watching for a shooting star. Whenever you look at one area of the sky, you think you see one in your peripheral vision. But you can never be sure. And even if you do see one head-on, it is so fleeting, that you sometimes question it after.

But the other day I did feel the baby's body! We spent the day going to antique stores, and I decided to be stubborn and wear my pre-pregnancy jeans (with two rubber bands chained together to hold my fly closed), and they were still awfully tight. Once we were far enough from the house to not turn around, I realized it was a bad idea. I felt a little pressure, so I removed the rubber bands, and just let the fly hang open. I felt a lump on the right side of my stomach, and realized it must be the baby. My stupid jeans were pushing on it and forcing it to the outer limits of my uterus. I'm not sure what part of the baby I felt, but I suspect it was the head. I was so excited that I kept poking it, and I guess I irritated it enough that it swam away once it had the room.

Friday is the big day, though. At 8AM we have our anatomy scan, where they will measure all of the baby's parts, make sure it has 4 chambers in its heart, two kidneys, etc... This will be the fist time James has seen the baby, so I am excited for him to get to experience that. I saw it once at 8 weeks, and again at 10 weeks. I'm looking forward to seeing how it has grown and changed. And as long as the baby cooperates, we will find out the gender. I keep reading horror stories (yes, horror) about babies crossing their legs, or refusing to move, or inconveniently placed umbilical cords, which makes it impossible to tell the gender. If that happens, Baby will be grounded upon birth. I am dying to know the gender. Dying. 3 days...

Phantom Baby Room

First post on the new blog...
This  blog will be a combination of my previous blog (which was centered around sewing, my etsy shop, crafts, etc..), and the newest addition to my life (the baby). Baby doesn't have a sex or a name yet, but fingers crossed that will change very soon (FRIDAY!).

I have been spending the last month in my new town getting situated and trying to prepare for the baby. I am waiting very patiently on a part time job opportunity with a local architecture firm. And I got a new doctor, got my insurance taken care of, I have a baby registry started, and I have lots and lots of plans on things to make for the baby. In part, I will save money by making things myself, but the biggest draw is being able to choose my fabrics! I have been pouring through fabrics online and trying to narrow down my favorites.

I have been building the baby's room in my mind for the last month or so, but the sad part is that Baby doesn't have a room yet. Baby caught us off guard, so we are in a bit of a transitional period, and by the generosity of his/her grandparents, we have a temporary roof over our heads. Daddy has a few leads on jobs, and fingers crossed something will pan out soon! So even without an official room for Baby, there is still a phantom room evolving in my mind that has a rug, crib, mobile, curtains, sheets, shelves, art... A rational person would say that the nursery design should be the last thing on my mind, but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF! I try to excuse it somewhat by saying it's kind of my job (architecture), and really, what first time mom doesn't want to decorate a nursery?

So with baby on the brain, I leave you with a preliminary palette of baby room stuff.